itsMINE-

2009-11-29T03:32:00.000+08:00

I just lost control of myself, again.

Cries in a distance.

2009-09-23T23:52:00.002+08:00

Finally eh, finally. 2 years of whatever sad stuff I've blogged, I told her everything today because I've reached that breaking point. I can't take it anymore; I told her how much I missed her over the 2 years, how much I wanted to have her back, and I cried while saying it to her. She knows I'm crying, most importantly, she finally knew she's the only girl I ever cried for in my life.

Is this the fourth time I'm crying for her? Hmm.. I guess so too. I've promised, and I'll try hard. (:

Does it still stand?

2009-09-23T11:34:00.001+08:00

All those things you've posted to me months ago, till today, I've been still putting in deep thoughts trying to figure out what you really meant at that point of time. Seriously. It's in my phone, whenever I'm on the train or bus, I'll just read it, stare at it, and try to figure it out.

I'm asking an obvious question now, but I still just wanna ask: does everything you've posted that day still stand?

This is something good!

2009-09-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

This is something good ~ :D

Whisper in the wind

2009-09-04T12:03:00.002+08:00

'Whispering in the wind, hoping that she'll come to know what I'm thinking now.'

I want her to know, can't hold on anymore.

The numbers 178 flashes in my mind.

Is she trustable, worth it and ready to go?

2009-09-03T23:31:00.001+08:00

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey

So near yet so far, eh.

Brainwashed

2009-09-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

A train of thoughts running through my mind.

Oh wait, somehow, they don't make sense anymore.

--

You still don't get it, my motive, you don't eh?

W35N

2009-08-31T01:31:00.002+08:00

4 months. That is the amount of time we've spent with each other in class joking, learning, eating, and playing. But unfortunately, this 4 months came and left too fast that everyone's dying not to change classes. Since I'm so bored tonight, I've decided to summarize all these classmates here in one post. :D Wait.. I think I've changed my mind, about people I'm closer with..

Dionis - I remember the first few days of school, I thought this girl was anti-social and not good to talk to. But hey, looks are decieving okay?! Never judge a book by its cover; never judge a person by its looks. She's mad, wild and can go even higher than that! Especially when she has a drop too many :D heh..

Sham - Fcuk this guy. HAHAHA! Joking. Let me see, he skip classes. 4 months, he bonded quite well with us, but I think he came for only 50% of the time.

Edmund - Hah! I swear I thought he was gangster when he stepped in on his first day. He's actually a great friend that plays with you and craps with you, but a split second later, you'll notice him sleeping in class. Stop making fun of people born in the year 1992 eh? ;D STAY IN TOUCHHHHHH!

Brian - What can I say? This guy here is my accomplice in whatever we do. We made videos, we made fun of people and we cracked jokes most of the time. He's forever looking for fun, settle down will you, Brian? I will always remember that SNSD video we made, and other attempts. LOL! Shhh.. our secrets between each other will remain secret okay? :D You'd better remember me.

Ruby - When school just started, she was the loudest girl I've ever heard. They call her loudspeaker is it? HAHAHA. Her behaviour will decieve you. She is 20, but behaves like 17. Well, I call that young at heart. Just like me! Hmm...

Junhan - Suddenly, he reminds me of brother bear. Anyway, he's forever forum-ing, and his techno annoys me. A chinese that can't speak chinese. Hey, we had our quarrels and our differences, but glad we resolved it in days.

Steph - A great person to talk to, really. Never the one that made decisions eh? Lol. She knows what I expect from her lah. Hahahahaha.

Zi Jian - BLURRRRRRR! Her face looks blur, which matches her behaviour. One of the rare 92s that is in our class. Usually lame, occasionally pops out cute stuff that makes people crack. Hahaha, I loved those. The first time we had a real chat.. I will always remember that, was during Brian's BBQ. Hey, I really didn't blame you. :)

Yunying - Just talk more next semester okay? LOL.

Weizhi - One of my best buds. Part of the clique. Works for COLEX! He's proud of it, sometimes. I know. He tells me it's a recycling job when I say garang guni in the past. We're almost of the same kind of guy, same attitude, same behaviour, same mindset towards relationships. Quite fascinating when I found that out. Hmm.. he's also another gangster. Boooo ~ Keep in contact yeah?

Marcus - Commando leh! Serious hor! Like what I learnt in Enterprise, he's an autocratic leader. LOL! He want things to go his way. But he's still reasonable. 21 years old this year but acting like a child most of the time. Hmm.. he said he would quit smoking on his birthday but... It's been a pleasure working with him, part of the clique too eh. Stay in touch, man.

Sean - Rewind back to when school starts. I can't remember if it is the 2nd or 3rd day. But Weizhi, you and me ate Ban Mian together. HAHAHA. I remember that day, we couldn't stop laughing, and we took a longgggg time to eat. We've quarrelled but we've settled them. I'm glad. Keep in touch alrightttt?

Siaotong - Zijian's best friend, blur at times too. :) Always getting teased towards the end of school. I don't know why but they could link her and her dog together. Hahaha. Her dog's pretty cute though. She hates Jovin. :D Stay in touch.

--

Basically, everyone of us should keep in touch lah. I've not mentioned a few of you, but you guys really made W35N. So, everyone is remembered. Yes, Faiz. How can I forget him? HAHA. I fell off the chair because of him. Soccer kakis eh? Our mass convos in class, everythinggggg. I just can't list all of it out.

We're starting to close in on to our course's subjects. Who knows I'll be in the same class as Heiryl? LOL.

This isn't farewell, cos I ain't gonna forget all of you. Good luck to all of us! Cheers :D

2009-08-28T22:05:00.001+08:00

So long never post , got miss me mah?
HELLOS earthlings
life is the same , it go round and round
almost the same everyday ,

recently i met this girl
she is very nice , she has big and wide heart until other girls
she is very cute and she treat me very nice (:
her name is ( can not tell ) ,
MUHAHAHA!
bye .

Not lost.

2009-08-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

No. You haven't lost me. Tell me what are you trying to say, I don't get it. The reason why I didn't talk to you was because I didn't know how to approach you anymore, ever since I knew what's going on in your mind. That smile of yours; how I wish I could see it everyday. But I know I can't. Get what I mean? That's why I don't know how to talk to you anymore. Because I'm just disappointed, and I don't know how anymore.

Now tell me, tell me what you mean. No matter what, I wanna know, I really wanna know.

I'll be waiting.

Lies

2009-08-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

... And I read through your blog. Lies. Hoping for miracles? Your feelings towards me? Waiting for whatever? Lies. LIES. Fucking bunch of lies. What else did you lie about? So many. Si Xin never existed, it's all you.

I'm serious about what I've said. It's gonna be hard to prove to me anything now, but I'm willing to give you one last chance. Take it or not, it's up to you. I do not need to prove anything to you, because if I lied, I wouldn't meet up with you so late at night, wouldn't care for anything you did. I hope you read this.

So much more to say about you.. but I'm not gonna shame you here. I'll be waiting for an answer, an explanation, and an apology that I can finally bring myself to accept.

Double and Triple.

2009-08-04T19:00:00.003+08:00

Double Chocolate Triple Oreo ;D HAHAHA! This shall be my 2nd drink I'll drink at a bubble tea shop. The craziest I've heard from customers so far is double chocolate double oreo. I'm even crazier! HAHAHA! I shall take a picture the next time I drink it.

Somehow, my body meant what I said last night. I didn't wanna wake up from this dream. When I woke up at 6.30am, I was like, 'no, put me back to sleep please.' I dragged myself up.. I really felt damn moody. I think it's been very clear to both of us. I couldn't look at her, literally looked away. I praise myself for smiling, but like I said in the previous post, I wouldn't avoid.

I just hope to have a question answered.. can I have this simple wish?
Speak the truth, would you even gimme a chance if I'm really gonna throw in 200% of effort to win you? I shall not be so confident, let's not talk about chances. Will you even consider me?

The day is about to end.. one reflection journal to go and we're done. Let's just hope that I get the chance to talk to her on MSN. *fingers crossed* I would be over the moon, really, if she talked to me automatically.. *fingers crossed on both hands* but it's hard.

Avoid.

2009-08-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

If I wasn't Low Xuanyou,
I swear I'm gonna avoid you from now.

Hush.. don't apologize, it's just me and my wishful thinking.

Monday means China man!

2009-08-03T21:09:00.003+08:00

Once again, it's Monday. Which means today's lesson was programming. Similarly, China facilitator again. Codes is pronounced as 'ko-des', documents is pronounced as 'door-ku-man-des', attributes is pronounced as 'air-tri-biu-tes'! Omg ._.

As usual, pretty slack lesson. During break, Brian was playing guitar and I was singing. HAHAHAHA! Okay, although it sucks =/ I bet he's damn happy now at home. He accompanied his Stephanie home okay! He was so shy today! Aww Brian.. ;D

EH WALAO! Brian, never record video lahhhh. x( Next week okay? ^^

--

I'm wondering, how can I permanantly win over your heart? It's gonna be difficult..

Sometimes I feel weird talking to you, other times I feel extremely comfortable. How can I neutralize you? Sighs, you're such a tough person to handle. x(

--

I swear whenever I see that sentence on your blog, I get fcuking pissed. Did I say I hate you? No, I didn't. Fine, you want me to hate you. I shall. So many things that I've noticed you do recently pissed me off and I've controlled. Now, I'm gonna fulfil your wish. (:

No title.

2009-08-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

I clearly remember what happened today morning. I was planning to sleep till about 1pm, but some carnival below my house starting at about 8+ or 9+am? I WOKE UP OKAY! I thought it was like 1pm or something, when I see my phone, it's only 9.30 x( I tried to continue sleeping, but I could only sleep till 12.

Shared money with some guy to order pizza for the bubble tea shop aunty, because it's her birthday. If I wasn't close to her, I swear I would have kept the money and eat pizza myself!

Ate dinner with my family this evening including both my sister's boyfriends. Played Nintendo Wii after that. We played bowling on Wii and the loser after 3 games had to treat everyone to McCafe's drinks and everything. Apparently, I lost by 1 pin okay?! x( Someone please pity me. After that played boxing. Hahahaha! I realised it's a damn good game to release all your anger and hatred. I felt that I released my anger. =/ But it's pretty tiring, I sweated and my muscles are like aching after continuous punching actions. Headed off to McCafe at West Coast after that. (:

So here I am now, finally home. Actually, home since about 10? Not sure, can't remember already. I'm gonna turn in soon, so I guess I shall stop here. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow cos' me and Brian are gonna record more hilarious videos of ourselves! HAHAHA! We're gonna sing Westlife's If I Let You Go with funny actions. Probably like the previous time, we're gonna upload on facebook. OH YEAH! =/

So, goodnight peepos.

a million sorries.
i'm glad that you're not angry.
hey, trust me k?
for now, it's only you.
forget what happened today, yesterday,
and whatever i've did to anger you. (:

Fairytale story

2009-08-01T23:21:00.003+08:00

Everything that happened so far seems like a fairytale story written by myself. I feel so half-hearted, yet I feel like I want to commit. After today, I think she doesn't feel the same way as I do. Sad? Disappointed? Not sure. As much as I think I've fallen for her, I feel that maybe it's time to pull myself out of the game.

Everything before today felt so much like a dream.. but a dream is nothing but a facade. If I had a wish, I would wish that the dream can continue for long, and turn into reality. I'm feeling so down, or so weird, she realize it? Haha, don't think so.

I feel like I'm starting to lose.

Xuanyou, take things slow yeah?

Jealousy and that missing piece in me.

2009-08-01T18:12:00.004+08:00

"Are you the missing piece in me?"

--

Gonna go out to eat soon, I guess. I've been waiting the whole day already.. but sighs, no avail. Cheer up Thidar! x)

--

Someone asked me to post this:

I know this person for three days already,
That person thinks I'm cute (-.-) and a nice person (agreed).
This person here hopes that everything goes well for me. =)

I think that:

This person is mad. How am I cute ._.

HAHAHA! ;D

it would be nice if you could talk to me..

Exhausted.

2009-07-31T20:17:00.002+08:00

Sigh.. I feel like banging my head on the wall, I mean, seriously.

IF THOSE HOMEWORKS OF MINE ARE ON PAPER, I SWEAR I WOULD TEAR THEM UP RIGHT NOW! Too bad they are done online T.T

Sigh again.. thinking about something, my heart really sank. It's the past, but it's always flashing in my mind. It's too big a blow for me to forget.. let nature take its course.

Hahaha, today Brian and I made Weizhi frustrated ;x We were singing Westlife's If I Let You Go because recently, his MSN's personal message are lyrics from that song. I love the 'oh yeah' part Brian made, hahahaha! I can't stop laughing at that.

Other than that, I feel lifeless now. Perhaps the sorrow has overwhelmed me.

P.S. I took cab to school today, few bucks flew away.. although the driver charged me 5 cents less. ;D

i miss you,
i was missing you today.
how i wish i could have seen you.

No title.

2009-07-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

I woke up late today, at 7.10am. I had to bathe, it was a damn quick one. Normally it's like 30 mins, I only took like 10mins today because I cannot be late. Eww, I feel dirty. At least I made it on time, I saved my 0.5 GPA thingy. HAHAHA!

--

Fucking bored la. I think I'm turning in already, soon. ;D

2009-07-29T23:12:00.006+08:00

some dumb wants me to post for him so here i am (:
He cut and dye his hair ytd ,hahah , very funny ;x
But CUTE k ? haha , like arhhum (:
this Ass went to sch to slack only , :D
HAHA, okay nth much to update abt ,
byeee earthlings , do rmbr to tag (:

life seems so great with dumbo around (:
(L)

No title.

2009-07-28T12:29:00.001+08:00

Who in the right mind would call me at about 3am? Please, I'm not what I used to be to you anymore. Stop being stupid. I'm still giving myself a chance to accept you as a friend again, but you're making me afraid of you.

I'm hating you more instead.

Don't get it.

2009-07-27T21:16:00.002+08:00

Some people just don't get it, do they?

The way sentences are phrased, she's clearly trying to put me at fault again. Sighs, I'm already giving people a chance, I'm not completely abandoning that someone, but how else can I do?

Attention seeker! I'm not buying tricks of yours!

No title.

2009-07-27T14:41:00.003+08:00

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person; wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a tee shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. And most of all, wait for the person who will put you up at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong."

I just saw this a few moments ago. Pretty meaningful eh? ;D

I'm still suffering in school, fcuking China english and China accent is killing me. How do you pronounce 'attributes'? This useless China teacher is saying it as 'air-tri-bu-tes'. Get it? No? I can pronounce it for you anytime if you don't get it. I've gotta bear with this for another 45 minutes. I'm hungry and I'm sleepy.

I WANT CHEESECAKE! x(

--

you've gotta cheer up already,
nothing will happen to you.
i'm here for you.
till you're ready to say;
i'll always lend you that shoulder of mine.

Shag.

2009-07-24T11:06:00.002+08:00

Totally shag today, man. I've only slept at like 12.30am this morning and woke up at 6.20am. For a person who needs 18 hours of sleep during weekends, this 5 hours and 50 minutes is definitely insufficient. Hell, it's less than one-third of the time I sleep during weekends. HAHAHA!

Been constantly yawning in class, never before seen okay? x( Lol. It's 300 seconds more to lunch, hopefully I'll come back 'on-form' after lunch. LOL. ;D Ahhhh ~ I miss my bed.

I'll be back, maybe... xD

Gay fun @ W35N!

2009-07-20T22:28:00.002+08:00

Today was mad! Mad, mad fun! Brian and I are still crazy about SNSD a.k.a Girls' Generation, some Korean girl group. Hahaha! We were trying to imitate them by filming a full MV of ourselves? Yup, it was insane. However, instead of a 'perfect' full version, tons of bloopers scenes appeared. Apparently, Weizhi's cute dance at the back of the camera, Brian unable to lip sync with a Fisherman's friend in his mouth, and my head being punted by Weizhi's knee. Hahaha! I would love to post the video here, but shall see about it ;x

Monday blues; programming sucks. Went to class to slack again. But hey, I've learnt stuff okay? I know about class and objects and many other things. I've got 5 out of 7 for my quiz, and it's not LUCK! ;D After school headed off the Causeway Point to celebrate Edmund's birthday. He's 18 already, he's old already, he's legal already... Actually wanted to eat Ajisen's but we walked out of the restaurant cos' we had no idea what to eat in there. LOL! Decided to eat at Pizza Hut then. I swear all of us were so full that we had the feeling that our stomachs were about to burst with just one finger poke!

Hey guys, we saw Steven Lim today! For those of you who don't know who is he, he's a Singaporean who's pretty famous... hmmmm ~ Hahaha! He waved at Brian cos' Brian kept looking at him. LOL! Brian's such an idiot, he wanted to take a photo with Steven Lim but in the end, Steven Lim left.

Ahhh.. life seems to be great suddenly, especially when everything you've ever wanted is back.

Random : Owen and Macheda scores for Manchester United!

Happy birthday Edmund!

tatas.

Just for her II

2009-07-19T21:53:00.001+08:00

HAHAHA! So bored eh? Woke up only at 1pm today.

So nothing to update! xD

Just for her.

2009-07-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

Just for SOMEONE who asked me to update. xD

I shall not use the word 'today' because it's past 12 midnight. HAHAHA!

Yesterday, a group of friends went to Botak Jones to have our dinner. It's been a long time since I've eaten Botak Jones too. It's like so relishing and the quality of the food can never be doubted. The cheese potato thingy was so niceeeeeee, hahaha!

*pauses for 3 minutes*

*back*

Yeah, was catching cockroach just now. I SHOUTED FOR MY MUM TO HELP ME CATCH IT! ;D She broke my comb T.T Because she climbed onto my bed and then accidentally stepped on my comb. CRACK! It broke x(

Anyway, after dinner we headed off the Holland Village to slack. Go there to drink only ~ hahaha!

Sighs ~ spent so much today. $25 I believe. x(

Random: Who's gonna lend me formal wear?! I NEED IT DESPERATELY FOR FRIDAY T.T

tatas ~

Traumatized.

2009-07-17T21:14:00.003+08:00

I'm just another kid that's afraid the worst might happen.
The screams and shouts engulf the serenity that was once pleasing to me.
The miscommunication that actually ruins a relationship.
The quarrels that will never end,
and the blamings that will never die.

It turns out I'm feeling a little bit traumatic over this,
my heart sinks, my body shivers.
My mood changes, my brain ceases.
Please don't let that happen,
for I will feel hurt the most.

If I could, can I run away?

Flunked UT.

2009-07-16T20:13:00.002+08:00

UT was a flop today. Hahaha! I swear, I'll get only like 6 out of the total amount of marks. xD Everything else was... umm, un-manageable? LOL. So funny, halfway through, Weizhi looked at me, and I looked at him. Somehow, our eyes both showed the 'sian 1/2' feeling. HAHAHA! Hey chill man Weizhi, we're gonna fail together. ;D

Let's see, what other happenings were there in class today: Brian slapped me x( It was HARD okay?! x( I was moody, but lesson was quite fun. I tried to be myself okay! Sad, my second LATE of the semester. Yet another 0.5 goneeee ~

UT2 is finally over! Relax guys, the final hurdle is UT3. But umm, when is it? xD

--

I made a promise to myself, after today, I'll wholeheartedly commit myself to that and I shall be happy. I will NEVER post about her again, because I don't like such people to be my friend. I will never mention about her again, because I will only make myself angry. http://you-memories.blogspot.com is telling me that he's irritated by my rants about her. Hahaha! Sorry bloggy, no more okay?

say that i'm trying to be mean just to help you erase the me from you.
but i'm really angry with you.
it has reached a point where i won't make any turns.
hatred is the word.

Hatred has overwhelmed me.

2009-07-16T11:55:00.003+08:00

I hate you.

You make me feel so-fucking cheated. I tried so hard, I accomadated you, and this is what I get in return? I'm better than that. I'm so glad that you've found SOMEONE so fast, I don't feel like saying the word, but you really make me feel that you are one.

I was actually good enough to REMEMBER that you begged me to go out with you on Wednesday. When I asked you, you 'joked' with me saying you're going to Orchard. I rejected going out with you because of your dressing, and the next moment you go with your ex to Orchard. I don't think you were joking about Orchard. You wanted to pull me along and be what? Make a fool out of myself? I'll make you regret everything you do, I swear. Because you played with the wrong person.

My greatness for remembering that you wanna go out with me is paid off like this. Think about it, I ended everything, yet I still agreed to go out with you when you asked me to. But on the other hand, you're doing this to me? Too much, too much. You planned everything already, I was lied to.

Anyway, every word I SMSed you today stands. You don't deserve to EVEN be my friend. Oh ya, let me repeat myself, I hate you.

P.S. if you have anything to say to me, I'll entertain your SMSes. Otherwise, this should be the last time I'm gonna blog about you because my blog is getting irritated too.

It hurts to see you hurt.

2009-07-11T22:32:00.002+08:00

Yet another 15 hours of sleep... hahaha!

--

I hope someone will finally understand how I feel.

4 6477 968 ♥

Not another one, please

2009-07-09T19:39:00.001+08:00

I don't regret for whatever decision I've made, and I don't feel that I've made a wrong decision. I'm not guilty for the decision I've made, and I also don't have to answer to anyone. But if it is to defend my stand, then I shall say.

The first few weeks of knowing her was great, happy and it felt like I had a new lease of life. But ever since she confessed, things changed. I was being controlled, I was being held back for everything I could have done during my free time, and for that, I didn't complain. I gave up my events with my primary school and secondary school friends, just to accompany her to where she wants to go. I believe she is humane enough to tell you the truth if you would ask her who hurt who more. I gave in and I gave in, and I finally realise I shouldn't be controlled. For I wasn't even her boyfriend at all. But to think I've treated her more than what a friend should have done, and she's pulling me back like I'm her puppet.

Listen, I'm not anyone's to control, and I'm not anyone's pet. I deserve my freedom, and do whatever I WANT to do. Personally, I feel that I should not even sacrifice anything for someone who's just my friend. But I literally did it. I'm not treated fairly, I deserve better. I've accomadated her enough, it's time for me to move on. If controlling and being her puppet is her sort of love, I can't take it. It's too scary for me. I need a breather, it's almost like I'm strangled.

Hey, no hard feelings. I don't want history to repeat itself again. Since your comments sound as though I've treated her unfairly, I thought I should stand up for myself. Yes, Steph has you and I have no one, but still, I think I should fight for my rights.

If I had misunderstood your comments, please, tell me. If I really misunderstood it, then I'm sorry. Otherwise, peace man.

Kill me for being the bad guy.

2009-07-04T22:07:00.002+08:00

Kill me, kill me for being the bad guy.

I gave you everything, and I also took away everything from you. Last night was a total torment after I left you. Life goes on, and you move on too. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Let me get drunk once again, like what happened at the chalet.

please god,
please protect her.
please guard her.
for nothing must happen to her anymore.

Single and wanna love it.

2009-07-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

Can she feel it? Can she feel what I really want? After all that I've done recently, I just hope she understands what I want. I know she'd read this, but this is where I pour my sorrows out to, where I share my happiness with.

I want this life, I love this life. But of all that I want and love, I lack of something - happiness. Fortunately, I found a way to get happiness. Unfortunately, I don't know how to approach it. I'm loving life being single. I don't want any committments.

Perhaps, what W used to say was right. When glasses are broken, you can never mend them back. Cracks and seams would always be there. Twice. Twice was enough. It's the carefree-ness that I've lost, and not anything else.

God, can I have it back?

stop loving me,
stop liking me,
stop missing me,
stop committing yourself to me.
to sum it all up,
leave me alone and let me be what and who i wanna be.
will you?

I said it.

2009-06-21T22:39:00.002+08:00

You did it once, and I said it once.
Now you're doing it again.
Let me reiterate my point,
I don't belong to anyone.
You have no rights to control me.
You're damn right, I'm angry,
From this day on, I'm alone.

Solitudeeeeeee.

2009-06-16T22:58:00.002+08:00

I've already posted this many times in the past, but I'm gonna do it again. Because I admire myself for being so talented. ;D
--

Late nights and reoccuring nightmares,
do nothing to help me overcome these insecurites.
Have I imagined this would be happening?
My whole world came crumbling down,
cause' a few months ago, I gave you my all.
Not worrying if I made any mistakes,
but my instincts let me down.
A crumpled state of mind that resurrects me,
and so a solitary life waits ahead of me.

I'm not used to this, and I'm crying out loud.
The remnants of the past, keeps creeping up on me.
The lullaby you sing sounds daunting every time,
and the mirror sings back at me.

I know it's hard for me to say it happened long ago.
But memories etched and I forgive but never forget.
I'm so torn at all the seams,
and I'm trying hard to mend it back.
Do you ever realise that I need you?
So much for all the promises,
a solitary life waits ahead.

copyrighted. ;D

Come and go.

2009-06-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

It's the second day of school after having two weeks of break.

"Hello presentations, bye bye fun."

I feel that I'm still trying to adjust back to the "schooling-mode" and it's gonna take a while for my system to warm up. I had Mathematics today, and hell, it didn't look a single bit like Maths. Marcus helped me read my life(sounds weird?) with tarot cards and ohmygod, it was very true. ;D
--

Sighs.

I feel that "something" is actually smirking at me right now, it's laughing at me right now. Because I don't have the guts, don't have the guts to speak my mind and make a decision.

come and go.
get the meaning?

Half a semester gone.

2009-06-02T17:59:00.002+08:00

In a blink of an eye, the first half of the semester is gone. How happy was I? How much fatigue have I overcome? The answer to both questions : both have significant amounts of whatever it is.

I'll be missing in action from tomorrow to 5th June due to the exciting class chalet we've organized. I'm so darn looking forward to it. Let's enjoy this event; let our hair down and enjoy!

Enjoy and look forward to a new half of semester one! ;D

Confused, exhausted ; need a break.

2009-05-23T19:44:00.003+08:00

I hate the word 'regret'.
--

I need a break from everything. I'm exhausted, I'm worn out. I feel like I cannot continue anymore. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry if I cannot continue to commit. I will still account for what I said to you. But I'm finding it real hard suddenly.

i punch the wall,
and i thought of what you said about punching the wall.
i resort to drinking,
and i remembered what you said about turning to alcohol.
i throw things around to vent my anger again,
and flashes of your voice is heard in my head.
--

It's been a long time since I last thought of you. I miss you.

Shag.

2009-05-08T23:35:00.001+08:00

I've been damn shag recently, especially today. I've got flu and sore throat, not H1N1 definitely, because I'm fever free!

Today, went to Singapore Discovery Centre at night because Boon Lay Secondary School had their museum night there. Great to see Secondary Two friends there again, caught up with some of them. There were many people who came and greeted me, and I went to greet many people too. ;D It's great, isn't it? Took pictures with people like Huining and Lihui, perhaps the group I can talk most with at that very moment.

Met new people at the SDC, like Felicia's friends. I just realise how wonderful Secondary School life is - full of fun and laughter; but Poly's life is also fantastic with my classmates never failing to lift the side of my lips.

--

Just finished rushing out an RJ. It turns out to be quite simple actually. I've never done my RJ at such a late timing before. New achievement, Xuanyou! ;D

Pain and joy.

2009-04-29T20:33:00.002+08:00

Yet another day with fcuked up group members. I only see Weizhi and myself putting in the utmost effort in completing the powerpoint presentation. You rock buddy (:

Today was Science, to be specific, Physics. It was about magnets and currents ; just like secondary school. But, it was brain-cracking, frustrating and every emotion that seems negative because we had to identify what each item may be and give our conclusions about why this behaviour of the magnet/object is observed.

Here comes the more interesting part... ;D

During the 6th presentation, I took the super strong magnet - I seriously haven't seen any magnet in my life stronger than this - and tried to make it a earring. ;D But then, I accidentally let loose the magnet, and it clipped my ear so hard! >< And the ear is like actually so fragile ~? It was red. T.T Then my classmate, Sean, even more bastard. Because this magnet is so strong, that it can actually attract even if it's in between your fingers. So, I put one of the magnet inside my palm, and he actually put the magnet and pushed it against my hand. Then, it was like, "KIAPPPP!" So damn loud. SO DAMN PAINFUL ~

Gotta admit, it actually brightened up my day. x)

The pressure piles up.

2009-04-28T20:36:00.002+08:00

Once again, I enter my house with a huge sigh of relief. That accumulated stress. The pressure that has piled up. I feel like I need a breather. For the past 5 school days, I've been the one doing the slides. When no one helps, you feel irritated. But when you see your teammate sitting next to you playing miniclip games (wtf?), you will feel fcuking irritated.

But when you actually put all the presentations aside, life seems to be extremely fun in RP. Especially when you have fantastic classmates that never fail to bring joy and laughter into the class. It just simply perks your day up.

All I hope for the next time our group changes, is to have more hardworking people that contributes to the team. ;D

Shag.

2009-04-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

Breathing a sigh of relief ; I'm so worn out. I'm currently loving the class I'm in now. They are all so jovial and cracking jokes don't seem to trouble them. The only problem : the facilitators from day 2 and 3 sucks. Today's facilitator was still okay.

AHHHHHH ~ I'm so tired, I can't squeeze out anything from today to blog.

It's like finally. Finally, one week of polytechnic life is over. Time flies, and new friends are made. Old friends will never be forgotten, so don't forget me. ;D I really hope all my friends are enjoying their Poly lives, be it educationally or socially. Cheers!

This old man.

2009-04-22T10:24:00.002+08:00

Fcuk this facilitator. He can't speak proper English! He can't give clear instructions! I'm blur in this classssssss ~

Okay, end of rant for now. ;D There SHOULD be more ranting updates later because I'm gonna see him till 3.30pm.

Still getting used to school.

2009-04-21T17:41:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it's been a long 6 months since I've woke up early in the morning and stayed in school from 8am to 4pm, I felt the lethargy in me just last night right after coming home from school. Please tell me it's just my body not being used to it. I don't want this to happen everyday from yesterday. x(

As usual, lessons again today. Had one of the most boring lessons ever : Cognitive Processes and Problem Solving. What the fcuk, man. The facilitator is like so irritating. At the start of the day, she already like spoilt my mood. =/ She said if she catches anyone using MSN or playing games, she will come and close your laptop. Tsk. But again, we joked around in class and during lessons, so that boring lesson turned out to be quite enjoyable also. I still prefer yesterday's lesson and facilitator. So much more fun.

I think tomorrow would be more interesting, cos' it's Science. ;D Hahaaaaa ~

Finally... a new start.

2009-04-20T20:45:00.002+08:00

Orientation Programme ends, school starts. It's like the start of something new. Let's all work hard together and achieve what we want. ;D Gogogo!

15-17 April 2009
--
I remember I sort of dragged my feet to this orientation cos' I had a feeling it wouldn't be very fun/good. But it turned out to be far better than what I expected. Even Heiryl agrees! He actually didn't wanna come. I dragged him out, and yes, we enjoyed every single bit of it. The mocking of people (=/), the laughters, the new friends made. There was a China guy named King. Nice name eh? He's almost like the clown of the group. His English... Laughs. I can never pronounce "potential" the way he did.

20 April 2009
--
Today, school finally started. After about 6 long months of holidays, we go to school again! I feel that Polytechnic is much more different than Secondary school - or is this just the beginning? I mean, there's so much fun, and you can like do whatever you want with your laptop in class if you find the lesson boring. Maybe having a good lecturer/facilitator also makes a difference. After not doing any Maths, and writing any English for 6 months, I feel like everything is gone in me. The Maths lesson today; I was literally stunned when I saw some of the questions. The REFLECTIVE JOURNAL!! I cannot think of what to writeeeeeee, but I somehow crapped out things. Somehow, I'm looking forward to every other school day now. Maybe it's just for now, but who knows? Maybe my attitude towards school has changed; I've become a 'guai kia' ;D

To Michelle, part 2?

2009-04-11T20:18:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I'm actually over the moon, extremely glad that you're finally talking to me again. For so much that I hoped that things will be the same again, maybe this is just the stepping stone. On contrary, I thought it would be impossible for us to be the same again after what happened between us. At least you're speaking to me now, I hope you and me will go back to the same again.

Secondly, don't be silly. ;D I don't hate you for what you've done to me. I will never hate you. I will always be here for you, no matter what you have done to me. I swear to God, I will. I remember the time, when I asked you if you would ever avoid me one day. You said you wouldn't, but then I realised it's a lie. Now, it's like it isn't a lie anymore. I'm glad about that. Don't worry, I'm not those kind who will return this kind of favour, you know. ;D I won't lie to you.

I will never hate you, and I will always be here for you.

Stay strong, Michelle. I know you have your problems. Stay strong, I will be here if you ever need me again. ;D

Back better than before ;D

2009-04-09T17:05:00.002+08:00

After 5 death-lingering like days, I can finally feel like the spirit of mine has returned to my body. The soul and the spirit must always come together, don't they? Ha. It's been a pretty weird virus though. It's like a cold, yet not a cold. Even the doctor exclaimed the word 'interesting' after telling him all my discomforts days ago. But hell, who cares, I'm all right. That's what matters ;D Yeah, I really felt damn weak and dead throughout, so, I'm very glad to be healthy again! Thanks for all the get well soon wishes and yes, Cheryl Ang's sadistic comment at my tagboard, I saw that. Thanks a lot for that too. ;D

--

This past weekend went for tomb-sweeping again. It's the yearly Qingming Festival again. Yes, again. People from all over Singapore somehow clutter into Mandai's columbarum [I promise I'll check out the spelling ;D]. With the Sun already scorching hot, and the burning place just like there, which makes it even worse, people can actually stay there so long and make it worse. And to bring it to another level, I went there with fever. Woooo ~

--

Sigh, Manchester United drew 2-2 in CL. They're starting to flop at the end of the season, that's saddening.

byes!

i still have to admit,
i do miss you.
i may be all quiet suddenly,
but i do miss you.

Broken down.

2009-04-03T16:12:00.002+08:00

It's been a tormenting day for me today. It's just so weird, just the night before, you're okay. The next morning you wake up, you realise you have fever, and the temperature hits 39. I've been eating Panadols only, and I think it's working. =/

Woooo ~ my whole body's feeling so uncomfortable. I can like totally feel the heat. >< Imagine if it's dengue fever. LOL! Choyyy ~ touch wood ;DD

A complete moron.

2009-03-31T01:15:00.002+08:00

I don't blame you. For the past week or so, I really don't blame you for what you are doing. I just feel like a complete idiot. I've been that idiot who texted you like how many pages of SMSes and I get zero reply, zero. After all these months of friendship, I believe, you want us to be complete strangers? You want to act like we don't know each other? If you can do it, then well, congratulations, you've reached your motive. Sadly, I can't.

What's even more sad, is that, perhaps, you won't even get to see how much I love you anymore. After how many days, the only reply I got today was a 'ya'. I felt pathetic, man. Because to me, that one word is like everything now. Hell, I even read our SMSes. That's the level of pathetic-ness, if there's even such a word. I'm really waiting for the day, when things changes. I know this feeling in me is true, because I haven't had such a feeling for a long time.

I've said it once, twice, and I'll say it again - it's not the amount of rejection I'm gonna take, it's about how much I want you.

Will there be a day, when your answer changes?

michelle, i'm still waiting.
i'm still waiting, man.

The drastic change.

2009-03-27T16:14:00.005+08:00

There's a different playing pool at this point of time, and 2 days ago. Jinglong literally trashed me every round. Except for a few rounds, where I won him with pure luck. Actually, the reason to play pool today was, so that I could use that bloody lot of strength and whack that fcuking ball. Ask Jinglong, how many times I tap the ball lightly today compared to 2 days ago?

Girl, you see the importance of you in my life?

Went back to BLSS this morning. Guess what? We are not allowed to eat in the canteen ._. The guard chase us away T.T No choice, must go back gate talk to people.

Okay, I've got no mood to blog anymore.

一直是我陪你去躲回忆里的雨
你无心的叹息有心碎的声音
他的好他的坏他的不安定
他的故事是我和你爱情里的乌云

从我爱上爱他的你那个瞬间起
一直是雨天你只爱雨天我用伞保护你
亲吻着你苦涩味道的微笑
闭着眼睛我明白你想念他的秘密

我一直在第二顺位爱着你
一直从雨天一直到阴天
一直到晴天你逃离过去
我一直在第二顺位等着你
一直从昨天一直到今天
一直到永远我相信是我最爱你

聆听你说抱歉多过你说我爱你
你困在雨里我困在雨里我的伞湿淋淋
『没关系』是我最常说的一句
就让我等就算我冷至少我陪着你

我一直在第二顺位爱着你
一直从雨天一直到阴天
一直到晴天你逃离过去
我一直在第二顺位等着你
一直从昨天一直到今天
一直到永远我相信是我最爱你

我一直在第二顺位爱着你
一直从雨天一直到阴天
一直到晴天你逃离过去
我一直在第二顺位等着你
一直从昨天一直到今天
一直到永远我相信是我最爱你

girl, dont you agree with the song?

7-1. I've finally found Rejection.

2009-03-26T22:43:00.004+08:00

"It's not about the amount of rejection I'm gonna take, it's about how much I want you." - xuanyou.

The only heartless person on planet Earth I'll tolerate is you.

Although I'll be expecting you to avoid me from now on, I really hope you'll not. In any way, I'm sorry.

i've finally found a match,
you'll be hard to be moved,
but i'll make use of that to show you how much I want you.

Speaking about bangs ...

2009-03-24T15:04:00.002+08:00

Speaking about bangs, that stupid Aloy showed me this photo on School's yearbook. It was so unglammmmm!

I got bangs too, on that day of photo taking. LOL. I remember that Linda cut my fringe. I'm the 4th from the right at the second row. Enjoy!

Girls, bangs, WHY?

2009-03-24T00:53:00.003+08:00

I'm actually getting more and more curious each time I see another friend of mine cutting their fringe straight, or what people like to call it - bangs. Weird name, though. Let me see, first it was my eldest sister, then actually I think about dozens of people, then recently. Michelle, my 2nd sister, now Peiyi. Okay ~ I should take time and start getting used to their new hairstyles. But the question is why? =/

The truth.

2009-03-22T23:16:00.001+08:00

The truth is unveiled. You proved your point.

so much for everything tonight.
so much for almost being knocked down by a moving vehicle.
i finally understood.
you made your point already.

Big hints, little significance.

2009-03-20T20:29:00.002+08:00

Hiya fellow earthlings! Such a long time since I've last posted. It's because I have no idea what to type in the freaking white space. The blank white space here just makes mind go blank too. Sad case, is it?

Yay, people in primary and secondary schools are gonna go back to school again. Everyone's like so excited. I would be a hundred times more excited if I was that age, I'm sick of holidays! There's still like one more month till I go to school. Guess what I've been doing? Nothing but webcam-ing ;D I'm like... bored at home. I feel like not coming home! Kidding ;D

There it goes again, my mind's empty. I think that's the result of not going to school ;D

Since I'm feeling stupid suddenly, I should leave this place already! ;D

the big hints seem to be of little significance.
how long more am i supposed to hold?

I wonder why.

2009-03-17T19:07:00.001+08:00

Why? When I know everything returns to square one, why would I even still do it?

that's the power of love. (:

Random post.

2009-03-13T04:24:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Quite true eh? xD

I know it's been a long time since I've came here. But it's because I really have nothing to blog about. Somehow, I feel that the lack of studying for these few months have really caused my mind to turn off completely ~ Poor me. :D

the one i love, loves someone else.
reality is always hurtful.
i've gotta live with it.
girl, last long (:

It's within that grasping reach.

2009-02-24T02:05:00.001+08:00

I just feel like shouting.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Who knows. Laughs.

Felt tragedy, seeing it too.

2009-02-19T00:56:00.005+08:00

"The best person to judge the situation would be yourself."

I can't believe I actually said that to a friend. Ironically, I can never carry out that sentence myself. Although I know it's true - that's where 'easier said than done' comes into play.

michelle, i pray that things go the way you want it to. (:

Trapped in a dilemma,
not knowing what to do.
Think of one,
and two appear.
Try to solve,
but afraid to hurt.

Love is sweet,
but also cruel.
Brightens you up,
and also pulls you down.
Hell, I think I left out -
it's sophisticated too.

Time is the remedy,
to kill love.
Make that decision,
when it's murdered.
But remember,
hastiness leads you to nowhere.

Michelle, smile! Because I've dedicated this whole post just for you, man. (: I know the stuff written sucks, but, you must understand, it's done at 12.56am. Laughs.

150209 ; 4E6 @ Sentosa.

2009-02-17T13:21:00.005+08:00

For the first time, I'm finally gonna post pictures of actual human beings on this blog ;D Me and some other classmates when to Sentosa on 150209. Not all the pictures are here, but.. yeah. Enjoy even though if it doesn't please you. x)

Group photo ;D

We weren't ready x) Me and my hat xD

Sharul - acting cute! ; Peiyi ; Xuanyou - really cute ;D

Peiyi ; Xuanyou - I don't know why, I pretty much like this photo. ;D

Xuanyou ; Siok Teng. I'm taller ;D

Xuanyou ; Yawen

Dinesh ; Yawen ; Xuanyou - got the airport feel!

Xuanyou ; Yawen ; Heiryl - our dumb faces x)

Xuanyou ; Yan - classmates + biomates.

This photo looks nice too. ;D

The sun's setting x) So romantic ~

Everyone woke up pretty early for this whole activity. Although not many people came, about 15, we surely had fun at Sentosa. (I know the photos I posted, majority were at Vivo ;D) After 5 hours under that scorching hot sun at Sentosa, everyone got sunburned and is living our life painfully, hopefully temporarily. Sadly, didn't have the photos of we throwing Yawen and some other girls into the sea ;x Anyways, see you guys soon! ;D

Just another day.

2009-02-15T01:15:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY! ;D

Wait, I mean yesterday ; considering the time of the post. ;x

I just feel that I'm advancing in life. Why? Because the polytechnics sent the enrolment stuff to me, and to all of us, already! Isn't it good? After so many whining and complaining from me, if not, every other Sec 4 graduates, school is going to start already! (Although registration is still 1 month away ;x) But hey, think of it in a different perspective, they sent us the stuff, meaning it's just a matter of time till school starts. Wait - it doesn't sound different. Never mind. ><

8 more hours and boredom is gonna salvage itself cos' I'm gonna go Sentosa with people. ;D How long has it been since I visited Sentosa... it's so long that sad memories will be relinquished. ;x No more money for tomorrow ~ sob.

Man, I should stop taking taxis. I realised at this rate of taxi-riding, my bank's gonna be drained up. No more taxi rides from Suntec to Jurong during PEAK HOURS, xuanyou. -.-"

Gotta get going now, it's late. Off to bed!

sayonara!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T01:28:00.003+08:00

Valentine's Day. Is there a whole meaning or motive behind it? Lovers, don't just treat your loved ones nice only on this day. Do it on a daily basis ; a daily routine. Everyday should be Valentine's Day. Wishing everyone a very Happy Valentine's Day in advance. (:
_____________________________________________________________________

I came across this article on a friend's blog, namely Jiale. Don't try finding her link on my blog because I didn't link her. ;D Pretty amusing, and meaningful actually. It's kinda factual. Here's it :

What is Marketing?
You see a gorgeous girl at a party
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me! "

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and points at you saying, "He's very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day, you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie then you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."

That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich, Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback.
____________________________________________________________________

And that was 'lame' for you. (:

Time flies, it's already mid-February. I always have problems spelling this month. Even if it's after 16 years of life. I realised I didn't have any job, and am slacking at home or going out everyday. I'm getting horrid of this kind of life, man. Hell, school couldn't start any later, could it? -.-"

"When you reminisce, you regret. I believe that's how the phrase 'let bygones be bygones' came upon."

2009-02-10T01:50:00.003+08:00

I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT TO BLOG! ;D

So, I'll just treat it as I'm literally updating this pathetic blog.

Not sad, remain strong.

2009-02-06T02:05:00.002+08:00

"Not sad, just disappointed. Stay strong, I will." -xuanyou.

Okay, that's weird. I've been always wanting to call this company to ask for part-time job, but everytime I hold the phone, got this stupid tingling sensation. Obnoxious feeling. I've laid down this promise that I'll call later in the morning ;D I swear, I sumpa! Teehee, long time didn't use that word already (:

Today I went mad, I think. I went out to IMM to takeaway Burger King + like 10 pieces of sushi. This always happens to me when I'm sad ; I eat. Aww, never mind. Used to it ;D LOL. To think about it, long time since I've eaten sushi and Mushroom Swiss. So nice, man ~

So many things yet to be done, and I'm still sleeping to 2.30 in the afternoon everyday for the past week =x Sigh ~ I shall start waking up at 9.30 from later onwards ;D Also, I got the craving for bak kut teh! ;D Okay, I shall eat that later. Yay, carefree life. Wahaha. I would feel happier, if there was you still (: But well, guess you're doing fine! Laughs.

byebye!

angiesimjiayee,
no matter where you are,
i believe you're doing fine.
i hope you'll do fine,
and i'm sure you'll be fine.
happiness doesn't stop and wait for anyone,
so if your's come, take it, treasure it,
and make it last. (:
on the other hand, i'll try hard,
because imissyou.

Let history repeat itself.

2009-02-02T23:54:00.003+08:00

I don't wanna start punching walls and do crazy stuff anymore. But somehow, it came unprepared for. And that's what I do when I feel that tension and lose control. Is this punishment for loving you too hard? If it is, how unjust this is. I was always right - if roses represent love, then why does it always die?

So what if I really have it.

2009-01-30T02:43:00.003+08:00

I'm a perfectly normal person! ;DDD How random.

Chinese New Year mood is overrrrrr. Looking back, the things we gambled "improved" every year. From Tai Tee, to Blackjack, to all the different kinds of poker. This year - Texas Poker. I've gotta admit, this game really can win a lot of money. But on contrary, when you lose, you lose a lot. I'm god - I won $100+ over 3 days. For me, it's godly enough. ;D

Sigh. I'm feeling confused.. help meeeee, someone?

byebye.

IED, IED, IED.

The streak goes on.

2009-01-27T01:52:00.003+08:00

I realise, every first day of the Chinese New Year, I'm always very lucky. I'll win what I gamble. Although didn't win much today, I think it really contributes to my red packet money this year. I can't believe recession has struck on our red packet money. For me, it's kinda less compared to last year. I had to gamble to make the amount more than last year. Pathetic uh? T.T But I only won $40. Quite pathetic also uh? T.T!

$340 is definitely not a lot of money, or is it? I don't know! I'm so worn out from all the visiting and stuff. It's like 4 houses today! My eyes is shutting so soon. I'm glad I made it here to blog ;D Tomorrow people are coming to my house for dinner, which means, I've gotta help to prepare stuff again ; I always hate preparing food. Why can't they come like not lunch, and not dinner those kind of timing?! Lazy people, I know I know. (:

That's it for today. Tired tired day of Chinese New Year. Let's hope I dream of the Nian shou. You know, that monster in the myth. LOL ;D

260109 ; 0010.

2009-01-26T00:21:00.005+08:00

260109 @ 0010 ; your forgiveness is all I ever need. I'll love you from now till eternity. (:

I'm glad everything has gone how I wished it would be. The storm calmed, the sun rises. This is all I need.

2009-01-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

I'm lost,
I don't know what to do,
don't know what to say.
I've said all I can say,
done all I could do.
But at the end of the day,
I look into the mirror and the person in it gives me that disappointed look.

Remnants of the past,
it's been hurting me bad.
I'm beginning to rue all I had done,
or what I had not done.
I'm starting to feel the pain,
because the silence from you,
it's like you engraving scars on my heart.

I have nothing to reminisce,
because I'm not good enough to etch something in our memory.
But I swore a promise,
that I'll keep you the happiest girl on this planet.
It's because I acknowledge my mistake,
and I wanna start anew.
This whole thing is like a catastrophe,
everything starts to crumble down,
including the only hope left in me.

Love is so phenomenal,
it makes you smile so sweet,
cry so bitter.
And the next moment you know,
your heart is tangled up.
I wanna know what is love,
I wanna feel what it's like.
I know I'm gonna give you all the happiness,
and I don't expect anything in return.

倘若当我能回到最初的原点，或许这份感情就会永恒不变。
倘若当我能回到最初的原点，或许彼此之间不会画上句点。

angie, i really miss you.
give me one more chance at everything.
i promise it will last.

I feel like I'm dying.

2009-01-24T19:45:00.003+08:00

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE :D

Cos' my head's spinning non-stop and I'm feverish. Am I? I don't know. Heh.

and i suddenly realise how much i miss you,
despite all the anger and frustration.
i'll get over you.

Single & accused.

2009-01-24T00:51:00.002+08:00

If you have to accuse, you provide me concrete evidence.

I have nothing more to say after what you've said to me today. To you, I'm this sort of person, so be it. You youself know best if what you said is right or not. I'm in no position to tell you off. If chatting to her means that to you, then I see no meaning in the word 'chat'. Ever since I saw what you wrote on your blog, I knew this day would come. I've lost trust in this relationship. I admit I feel hurt, I feel sad, but it's because of the fact that you come and accuse me for something I've not done and being unreasonable. Just know that I've tried my best to love you.

Take care A, cos' this time round, I will say, I actually loved you.

Pooooool !

2009-01-23T14:04:00.002+08:00

So yesterday was the day I went out after a longgggggg time.

Went out with primary school friends :D Chat, eat, play, yeah. We did everything that could be done. It was the first time I realise there's this place near/around/in Clarke Quay called Settlers. It's a place whereby people can get together and play board games or card games. At first when they suggested, I admit I wasn't really impressed with the decision. Laughs! But when we reached Settlers and settled down, laughters filled the air, man! Quite a lot of people there too. We were completely outnumbered. That group had like 10+ people with them, and I guess they were playing some guessing stuff. I wonder what were they guessing, disgusting words starting to pop out - sexual organs of human beings. EWWWWW ~ Anyway, yesterday was the day when I finally realised that there are soooooo manyyyyyyyyy different kinds of games in this world that I have never even seen before. LOL. Yay, I'm sua gu. :D But the place wasn't that bad leis, free flow of drinks, and there's this student thingy that's like 2-6pm.

Then, we left that place. x( we train-ed down to Dhoby Ghaut to go to the place next to Plaza Singapura, called Meridian? Think so. Go there play pool =/ Quite expensive luhs T.T $10.80 per hour. Shiyong is pro, man. But I won him many times :D Except for that game where I was supposed to hit the black ball and I accidentally hit the white ball in too. x( Everyone was proooooo! Even the girls, you look at their face, they look like they know nothing about pool. But... looks are always decieving. T.T Ron picked it up quite fast too. Everyone was impressive there la.

Now, back to 'sian' mood, cos' I'm back at home. Who wanna watch Love Matters? :x

byeeee ~

Yet another... lifeless day.

2009-01-19T15:44:00.004+08:00

It's another boring day.

I only did one thing so far till now for today :

I DYED MY HAIR TO PURPLE AGAIN!

While viewing my archives, I came across this poem I wrote back then. :DD

Late nights and reoccuring nightmares,
do nothing to help me overcome these insecurites.
Have I imagined this would be happening?
My whole world came crumbling down,
cause' a few months ago, I gave you my all.
Not worrying if I made any mistakes,
but my instincts let me down.
A crumpled state of mind that resurrects me,
and so a solitary life waits ahead of me.

I'm not used to this, and I'm crying out loud.
The remnants of the past, keeps creeping up on me.
The lullaby you sing sounds daunting every time,
and the mirror sings back at me.

I know it's hard for me to say it happened long ago.
But memories etched and I forgive but never forget.
I'm so torn at all the seams,
and I'm trying hard to mend it back.
Do you ever realise that I need you?
So much for all the promises,
a solitary life waits ahead.

lalalas ~

Yeah, that's all :D

Time for a break,

2009-01-15T15:14:00.002+08:00

From this very moment onwards, I shall not breathe a single word about my choice of courses and/or my O level results anymore. :D Partly it's because I didn't do too well, and it's also because it's more stressful than taking the O's like I've said in the previous post.

Starting to make plans for CNY and of course the rest of this holidays. It's until April, what am I gonna do. T.T I'm now working at home for $0/hour. Pathetic. I wanna go out! Call Dinesh go watch movie again. :DD That Jack Neo film like quite funny, maybe wanna go watch. Now I finally realise the joy of school, and the boredom of staying at home. To think on some occasions I was hoping for longer MCs and blah. I'll start looking for jobs, I'm gonna provide for myself. But until I find a job.. heh.

Sighs, life's boring now. Disgustingly boring.

Crippled heart, crippled life.

2009-01-14T20:02:00.002+08:00

So most probably I'll be sending in my choice of courses tonight - and then all these headaches will cease. Good.

I've been limping around for like days already. Laughs. Pain. Get well soon, my dear leg. x(

used to hide,
used to lie.
but it only hurts each other.
how long more.
i wonder, i wonder.

I have this day too.

2009-01-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

I've been surfing the Internet for the past two days. Not Friendster, not Facebook or what. I'm glued onto Polytechnics websites! It's boring, super boring! Even now, I'm looking at all the courses. Never have I thought it would be so stressful to decide on something to study. I'd rather sit for 10 more O level examinations! :D Let's hope I can decide by tomorrow, and start worrying about nothing. Sighs.

At the thought that we're drifting apart..

Anyway, good luck to all Seconday Fours this year. Laughs. :DD

wtf.

2009-01-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

Don't submit first, don't submit first. What the fcuk. Then wait until the 5th day of submission then go tell you? Tell you today last day then panic? Then make me panice also? Please, your polytechnic admission or mine? Everything also wait for you. knn. Why don't you become Low Xuanyou and I'll take your place? Then, you can DON'T SUBMIT FIRST until you happy. God gave us brains to use, and I mean make FULL USE of it.

Reach home only make people dulan. Not only this, the more dulan thing is I wasted my time watching PONYO. wtf. -.- Somehow, I earned. (: So no comments. Fcuk larhs, no mood to blog. Even today's post is so not the kind of typing style I always type.

Finally, end of O level's everything. Results whatever.. I feel like a butterfly, freedom from studies, at least for these few months. (:

1 more day.

2009-01-11T00:55:00.003+08:00

Okay, so it's considered 11th January already right? :D

Firstly,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHILEI ! :D

17 years old already, grow up already! Must guai guai ting hua. I accidentally deleted that chinese software thing on my computer, that's why I needa type hanyu pinyin. T.T

Next, 1 more day till O level results is released. 20 points and above for me, I believe. Actually, kinda blame myself too. Laughs, anyway I can't do a damn thing about it. :D So if teachers ask me confident or not, I'll say yes, confident of failing :x

Stupid EPL, stupid weather in England, causing the soccer pitches to be frozen. Now the matches are postponed and there goes my Yahoo Fantasy Football points. T.T

Actually, I'm thinking of looking for a job. :D But.. ahh well. We'll see about that! Btw, not that I'm desperate for money ; I just need money to support myself. xD

Now I just hope for the better for everything else - if you get what I mean. (:

tatas!

angie, it's just that i love you too much.

I fear for the day..

2009-01-09T00:41:00.005+08:00

First things first, I came across those Sec 4 blogs, some of them took photos of the food served at Marriott this year for the grooming course. NO EFFORT MADE BY THE HOTEL OR SCHOOL. rofl. Yeah. SAME FOOD AS LAST YEAR. ;D And, the menu also same pattern! (:

ONE ;

2009 didn't start of too well for me, I guess. Several problems here and there, and somehow I'm being ostracized. Today, another fear is built within me. *sigh*

I'm afraid that I would have to start hopping around on crutches again. The last time, it was for 6 months, in cast. Then, I had to "learn" how to walk after that. Now, that injured leg is acting up again, the pain is.. ohmygod. The kind of feeling, it's like,my bone is being bent. =/ Wonder why I still can walk now uh? Since now is 12.45am, I've been limping around for cups of water and food. I was thinking, what if I had to use that fucking crutches again. Ahhh.. the good ol' days.

Pain + more pain + more pain = unbearable amounts of pain. Intolerable. The very one pain I wish to stop now, is to solve the problem between me and her. It's been a few days, a long time, I don't know how long more is this going to carry on. Let's hope I can solve this less rash, I don't want history to repeat again.

TWO ;

So it's being announced. O level results will be released next Monday on the 12 January. I'm not trying to brag here, but - I really don't know how much can that A2 help me. That A2 in my Chinese. To me, it's partly wonderful because I didn't expect myself to get an A in my O's but, yeah, I did it.

Let's analyse a little here : A maths - FAIL ; Geography - it was manageable, let's hope for a B ; English - hell, just give me a pass and I'll dance like a crazy cat ; E maths - let's see, didn't attempt 2 questions in Paper 2, C6 please ; Combined Humanities - fingers crossed, C6 ; Combined Science - I hope for a B also ; Biology - C6. So the above analysis shows you that the 'shoutout' on my Facebook is right ; I feel negative about the results day. Well, Republic Poly has plenty of courses for 20 pointers. x) Ouch, I tried to stand and my leg hurts.

THREE ;

Wow, a beetle flew into my room. Chinese New Year is comingggg ~! Red packets, red packets!

That's all for today :x

im planning something,
something big.
i wont lose you (:

Cries in my sleep.

2009-01-07T15:47:00.002+08:00

Weird.

It's the third time already. I cried in my sleep, and when I wake up, I'm really crying. Laughs.

I hope you're all right, somehow I will see for myself you're all right.

A, ily. (:

你后悔。

2009-01-05T15:43:00.002+08:00

其实，我知道你已经后悔很久，很久了。我也已经很久，很久看出来了。我不懂为什么，我就偏不守诺言的选择爱上你。你找过很多个理由，让你自己不喜欢我，讨厌我，然后就想要分手对吗？我看穿了。事实上，你爱我，只不过是两三天而以，然后就开始默默地问自己，“我踏出正确脚步吗？” 你的谎言，是为了要我讨厌你，恨你吗？还是给自己找理由放弃现在的一切? 自从认识你，我不知不觉把悲伤忘掉了。但现在，也是你让我更加恨我自己。为什么？

难道我对你的爱不够坦诚吗？你感觉不到？如果是这样，我很希望我能回到最初的原点，也许这份感情就会快乐一点，也不会画上现在的句点。对，我决定了。因为你需要的是时间。

但你要记住，我真的很爱你。圣诞节是这样，现在是这样，将来，也会更加的爱你。你永远会是我最要好的朋友。我爱你。

ASJY, iloveyou. (:

when it all comes to an end.

Ai Shang Giant Guo Fei Nian!

2009-01-04T16:23:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I'm blogging. Why? Because I saw Mediacorp at IMM filming the Ai Shang Giant Guo Fei Nian game show. Damn fake can? It's like everything is pre-planned so the people like... sure win? Also, so many uncles and aunties are like following the crew. LOL. So cute yet stupid.

Ahh.. another day of boring. I miss my girlfriend! x( I don't know why, but recently I just can't think of anything to post. So, that's it for today!

tatas.

I'm bored.

2009-01-02T16:23:00.001+08:00

Guess what? I'm bored. I miss school. LOL. Yet another day of boring-ness.

Soooooo ~ pathetic.

2009 - New Year, new hopes.

2009-01-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

22 hours and 57 minutes have gone by as I keyed in the first character of this post. New Year, new hopes. What are your new year resolutions?

For me, I just want to succeed. Not big successes, I just want things to sail smoothly and I'll be more than happy :D Most importantly, I want this to last. I think, I'm sure, I'm serious this time round. (:

Happy New Year everyone. (:

Blah.

2008-12-30T09:10:00.004+08:00

Blah. Moodless.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!

You think this is enough to make me mood-full? No, man. I believe you wouldn't do this to me. Tell me it's just coincidence.

Damn, I miss angiesimjiayee! x(

dear, tell me it's just coincidence.
it's worrying now.
this love, this miss,
is turning me mad.
but worse of all, this worrying,
is making me berserk.
iloveyou <3

Rot, rotting, rot.

2008-12-26T16:24:00.003+08:00

I've just realised that I've been rotting at home ever since O levels ended and that should be approximately about... 68 days. 68 god damn freaking days I've been at home doing the same routine everyday. Wake up, turn on the computer, buy food, use computer, watch TV, then sleep. Unless it's weekends =/ of course, shopping and watching football :D That's 1,632 hours of nothing-ness at home since 13 October 2008.

On the other hand, 2008 is coming to an end! ohmygodzxzx. A blink of an eye, a new year is coming. That's fast, 17th birthday coming very soon, which means Polytechnic/JC life starting very soon. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Everything is happening too fast! *pants* Perhaps, I've already ended 2008 on a high note, and also going into 2009 in a high note (: wahaha! *Paused for 3 minutes* Damn, 2008 is coming to an end.. I'll miss all my secondary school friends x( Heiryl, Alfian, Sharul, Simyee and her 7 dwarfs which somehow has me inside and etc.

I haven't forgotten, JESSICA TAN KAIXIN wants to go kbox. LOLS. Don't worry, I won't forget. x) Enough said for today, I need a rest from my computer :D

takecare ~ tatas.

2008-12-25T20:09:00.002+08:00

his beloved ;D JKJK !
helpinqq him updatte again (:
hehes,, iie m so goooooooooooooooooood to him :D
iie will end here lurhs ,
datts alll bbyes (:

"anqqie;DDD ily (:

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T13:06:00.001+08:00

It's rather late for me be posting this now, but it's okay. I'm sincere about it! ;D

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL ;DD

tatas.

2008-12-23T21:25:00.002+08:00

here to post for XuanYou
datt lazy dummmy (:
;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
always dunt wanna update so iie help him
update abit hehes;D
SORWIE arhs didt ask permission frm you
dhen post (:
hehes,,

tadaa ~

2008-12-21T11:57:00.001+08:00

TADAA ! ~

That's all for today. It's been a long time since I've typed something on this blog, so don't complain :x

I'm off ; 6-13 December @ HKG.

2008-12-06T01:30:00.004+08:00

It's the 6 of December today...

Which means... I'M OUT OF SINGAPORE (:

I'm gonna be away for 1 week to shop, eat, relax and SEE things. =/ Get what I mean? Never mind if you don't. I put it in such a way that it's so vague, doesn't matter if you don't get it. It's not anything big or weird or... or ... *loss for words*

The purple on my hair is starting to fade to ash colour, quite cool eh. Maybe my eyes got problem, I don't know. I feel weird typing in this blog, especially after not having contact with English for like moths. Everything feels weird. But anyway, I'll treat this trip as going to brush up my Cantonese. LOL.

All right, going to sleep (: I must wake up at 4.30am, which is like only 3 hours of sleep.

Once again : BON VOYAGE, XUANYOU ;D

First post since the end O levels?

2008-12-01T13:04:00.002+08:00

It looks like this is the first post since the end of the O's, and it seems to have come pretty late. Oops, actually I realised it's not it. Well, the after-effects of no blogging for donkey years. Donkeys are cute! x) How random.

I'll try to recall, recall everything I've done since my last post.

Monday, 17/11/08 ; after that post.

After posting that post, went out to dye + highlight my hair. Then Germaine kept pestering me to go out. (F3) We went to Vivo City, window-shopped, eat and then slacked outside Vivo, you know, near the sea. Somewhere there, yeah. Germaine calls Vivo's first floor, as 'the floor from MRT there come up one floor'. Complicated? Not really, give it some serious thought, it kinda makes sense, eventually.

Tuesday, 18/11/08

A trip back to Primary School. Visit teachers, play with children. ROFL. Most significantly, it's the day before my birthday. Whatever. A pretty dry day, I should say. Dry as in content-wise, didn't do really much.

Wednesday, 19/11/08

Happy birthday to me. Although I was waiting up all night, hoping to recieve someone's SMS, but anyway, it was all about Grad Night @ Marriott. Met up with Dinesh and Shilei, we took a cab down to Marriott. The blah-blah reception and all, then finally the ballroom's door opened. I think $75 for that buffet was a pretty exorbitant price to pay for. The different kinds of food the have was like, enough the be counted with my both hands. No, not nice.

Nothing else, nothing much to post anyway. I believe Jinglong birthday just past or something like that, so Happy Birthday. Joselin also, I think =/ I'll be out of Singapore very soon. Frankly speaking, I am afraid. LOL. After the recent 11/26 Mumbai terror attack and plane crashes, I get the jittery "sensation" all over me. What's more, it's just 5 more days, and the feeling is overwhelming me more and more, day by day. Ohmygod manxz. I believe I will be back in one piece, and then, JESSICA, GO KBOX! You keep on saying wanna go, wanna go, but in the end, you never ask me when can go!

I wish myself Bon Voyage. (:

tatas.

maybe waiting for you simple SMS,
was kinda stupid.
still trying to forget after 1 year and a few days.
today was supposed to be the promise,
but i think, you've forgotten all about it.
i believe in fate, if it lets us come together again,
i'll be grasping on to you,
like i've never done it before, and i won't let you go.
anymore.

My beauty sleep.

2008-11-17T08:16:00.002+08:00

Let's see.. I slept for 12 hours, and now I'm making a rare appearance on this blog. =/

Just here to update so that everything won't look so dead, and also make myself happier. LOL

Point form okay? I'm lazy to type. xD

1. Okay, Graduation Night is nearing and I still haven't thought of what to wear ><
2. I forgot to wish Caiwen happy birthday, never mind right? Still not too late =D
3. Finally, I found PES 2009!
4. Manchester United trashed Stoke 5-0 =/
5. I'm going to dye my hair soon, as in few more hours time.
6. When does Jessica wanna go out for Kbox. !@#$@
7. MONEY PROBLEMS! >< I wanna work.. damn.

That's all ! =D

tatas.

you're just like her,
since you stepped into my life,
i've changed.
i dare not go into another r/s,
for im afraid of hurting you.

无可药救。

2008-10-23T10:09:00.002+08:00

心情一天一天变得更加沉重。或许，是因为之前有很多，很多的遗憾。当我游览她的就博克时，我似乎感受得到我们之前的幸福快乐。当然，我也记得很多我对她说的甜言蜜语。但这些，并不重要了。现在，就好像生活归零，一切都不曾存在过。倘若当我能回到最初的原点，或许这份感情就会永恒不变。倘若当我能回到最初的原点，或许彼此之间不会画上句点。

今天，不知不觉传给了她一个简讯。我们都在考O水准嘛，所以就希望她能加油。奇怪的是，为什么我都不想看我电话，是否有回应？可能，有的时候，我就是不想面对事实吧。想着她的感觉，一天一天的增加。都是希望，有一天我能回到我们的“原点”。但希望，我觉得，会变成奢望吧。她对我许下的诺言，应该是忘了。无所谓，反正我就会继续找。

Exams are going to start later at 2.30pm. Guess what I'm doing? Squeezing the Apple Stress ball. -.- Hey, I feel less stressed, all right? Human Geography. I think, I can do well. I know she saw it, I know she's wishing me all the best in her heart. I really don't want to even glance at my mobile, fate will bring me to her reply, somehow. Haven't had my breakfast. Man, I'm starving. I've been writing that stupid journal of mine and I'm like getting stiches. Ah well, I'm gonna get some food. Or I'm gonna pull myself through till 4pm. It's very, very hard.

tatas.

i never given up hope,
till now, i'm still grasping onto any hope i feel.
weiy, 你真的是个傻瓜,
i still love you.

Decieving, and not recieving.

2008-10-09T20:55:00.003+08:00

People are decieving, you agree with me?

From one moment being like the biggest thing to them, to another moment being something minimal to them. Call me over-sensitive, maybe someday when you SOMEHOW pass-by here, you know I'm referring to you. I hope you do know. Not going to continue to lament anything here. (:

The "not-just-another-exam" is right around the corner, literally. Apprehension, pressure, stressed, what else? Can't think of anymore words, can we? It's normal, perfectly normal. So what? I'm not gonna sit here and do nothing. Dreams cannot turn into reality with just luck. Have I been putting in the utmost effort I should have put in? I don't know. (: Good luck to everyone.

my time froze at 261107.
defrost it. only you can.

Facts.

2008-09-25T19:58:00.002+08:00

Poems after poems. When will I stop?

I have to say, I can't bring myself to come to my own blog sometimes. She brought it up, and perhaps, tore it down already. It's very hard, very hard.

Ever since...

2008-09-24T17:45:00.002+08:00

You were stuck to my mind for the past 10 months. I never seem to forget everything. No matter how painful the memories were to me, I still held on. I was still as resilient. The same old 'painkiller' I always prescribe myself to, doesn't seem to work anymore. It just doesn't have to effect it used to have. I lost control, lost you, lost everything... but the only thing I held on so tightly for this period of time was the reminiscence. All were etched on to my mind, my heart, and god damn it, my soul.

i was never the same,
ever since..
that's the title i gave to this post.
it really suits,
isn't it?

Pain is temporary ; so is endurance

2008-09-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

Obviously, you should know who came up with that. (=X)

Yeah, many people, mostly my schoolmates, are posting their results on the blog and ranting about their results being unsatisfactory. I mean, prelims - said and done, no way you're gonna turn the tides and get what you deem as "satisfactory". I will just have to admit, I didn't do well. Done. Full stop. Although I only failed one subject, I am still surviving on this piece of thin ice. Nope, no way I'm gonna sit here and waste my sleeping time by crying over spilt milk. Like I've said, "said and done." Man, I sound so harsh, so snobbish.

Blahs, no more late days, extension of boring lessons which are SUPPOSED to do us good (=D) and more remedials. Woohoo! But at this critical moment, I still can sit here and ponder, "how you getting along, man? You're gonna do fine, aren't you?"

That's the irony. Extreme irony.

我很想念你，
难道你那么一点点的思恋都没有吗？
一股朦浓的感觉，
告诉我，“她将会回到你身边。”
我不懂，真的搞不懂。
虽然知道你现在满幸福的，
但是，就是很想赢回属于我们的幸福。
你听见了吗？
weiy, 我爱你。

maybe you can just imagine me saying this to you ;
saying it in the kind of tone i always used. (:
i really do.

71 days to go. But, where are you?

2008-09-20T19:13:00.002+08:00

I still remember the days, do you?

Prelims have officially come to a halt, but what's next is the big O. When everyone is at home slugging away, I'm down here blogging. Oh well.. At least I do feel the slight apprehension people at my age, at this point of time should feel. It's supposed to be a good sign, isn't it? I feel that, what I achieved for Mid Year is being achieved once again for Prelims. For the first, I totally gave up A Maths and literally passed the rest. For the latter, I also failed A Maths, and, am passing the rest. Although we haven't got back our Combined Humanities, I feel that things are going pretty smoothly. What a sigh of relief.

But the most heart-wrenching thing, is that, I owe Sharul and some people a meal now. How sad? Because we made a bet, among us, who gets the lowest for English overall will have to treat the rest to KFC or something. Sigh, so rare for me to get lowest among them for EL (=X), and at the wrong timing! Anyway, it's not that I will run away. I will treat, okay? =D

US stock market is rapidly declining, so are the number of days to the O level examinations. I know it's a stupid way of relating the number of days to Wall Street, but... well. Guys, let us all work towards what we are capable of achieving!

tatas.

71 days to 1.12.08
but weiying ; where are you?
i miss you.